After 10 months with baby Kye, I have learned some things about continuing with outdoor fun after a baby joins the family, so I thought it’d be fun and maybe interesting to highlight those lessons. Of course, I can only speak from the perspective of a parent of a single baby. I’ll keep posting as he gets older as I’m sure there will be different points for the toddler years and so on. And if we have another, my guess is it gets much more complicated.
I'm not even sure who looks at this blog, so this post might be more for my own reflection (and something to make fun of myself for later). I do hope that someone thinking about starting a family reads this, though, as I searched the internet for stories and tips about continuing in outdoor recreation with a family. It is possible to continue hiking, skiing, and biking, but it is also a lot harder and less frequent. For my family, it's still worth it.
- Take turns- Sadly, I know many women who discontinue their outdoor fun while their husbands keep getting out. I’m lucky to have a super supportive hubby. This winter, we took turns ski touring, lapping our local hill and even getting out in the backcountry a bit. We also had some fun lift-skiing. I’d go for a few runs then come back and let him go. Now that summer is here, we’re doing the same thing with running, mountain biking, and hiking.
- Plan, plan, plan!- Obviously, life gets a lot busier with a baby, especially if both parents are working. If we don’t make a plan for outdoor fun, it can get pushed aside for other things. We used to adjust our plans with the weather or our mood. Now, if it’s on the calendar to go skiing and the snow sucks, we go anyway. I’ve heard it said and it seems true: ‘Even a bad day in the mountains is a good day.’
- Be spontaneous- Occasionally, you get a moment of downtime you weren’t expecting, so it’s important to allow spontaneity and get outside. A few times this winter, I came home from work to find dad and baby napping together. I grabbed all my ski gear quietly and slipped out the door for a 45-minute lap up the local hill. In the past, I might’ve been more reluctant to go for an unplanned outing, but now I take any moment given me to do the things I love....
- ...Make it a priority if it is one- leave the house a mess, your car unwashed, the laundry unfolded, the yard full of weeds, and so on. Trim your ‘to do’ list down to the most essential items every day. Obviously, you have to do some laundry, make meals, wash some dishes, and pay your bills. Everything else will probably wait for you, and you’ll do it some day. Or you won’t, but it just doesn’t matter that much. (I write it easily here but this is still a struggle for me).
- Take baby outside- This is super complicated and also very easy at the same time. We have a baby that doesn’t sleep well, not for naps or night. The obvious downside of this is that we are exhausted and irritable. However, given that he doesn’t have a sensitive routine, he is very flexible. So, we take him hiking, skiing, climbing, and bouldering. We do try to build nap-time into our day, either on the drives or in the pack while we hike. Kye LOVES being outside. He coos at the dogs we meet on the trail, giggles at the streams we cross, touches the trees that overhang our path, and babbles on and on in his pack. It makes sense to me that babies would love the natural world. It is fascinating and beautiful and I’m thrilled to share it with him.
- Do it anyway- When you are caring for a little one, you are exhausted, bone tired. You have so much to do and no time to do it in. You are overwhelmed and stressed. It is hard to find the energy to go out hiking or skiing. It isn’t what you ‘feel’ like doing, often. There were many times this past 10 months when sitting in front of the television sounded like the best way to spend my downtime, but I managed to drag my body out the door for some ski touring or running and I always came back exhilarated and energized.
- Go alone- It used to be great to do outdoor stuff with friends. Now, that can be too hard to coordinate, especially if they have little ones who are on different nap schedules, etc. I still do it, now and then, but I don't make it a requirement to getting outside. Most of the time, I am willing to head out the door to hike, bike, or ski all by myself. If it happens to work out that a friend can join, even better!
- Ditch the guilt- A weird phenomenon occurs when you become a parent: an insane guilt threatens to take over your mind and soul over every little decision. I watched friends go through it before me and thought, from an outsider's perspective, "I won't do that." Ha! You are responsible for this little creature that you love immensely and, often, have no clue what he needs. You can feel guilty for taking time to yourself when he so needs you. You can feel guilty for the fact that you are already gone all day at work and now want to take another 1/2 hour to run. You can feel guilty for biking instead of washing your filthy kitchen floor. You can feel guilty for leaving papa at home with baby alone (even though he got his downtime turn). Here's the one that invades my mind most often, as it is quite common in our culture: shame on you for wanting to have a identity outside of mom, an interest other than baby. You get the point so here's the tip: make an intentional, constant effort to combat the guilt that creeps into your head. It is healthy for you to get outside, take time to yourself, and get exercise. I am a better mom and a better example to Kye for taking a little time now & then to ride my bike fast in the woods, ski a little fresh powder, and pull on rough granite.
Kye and I cooled off at Denny Creek natural waterfalls yesterday.
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